1. Portrait Of the Artist As a Disagreeable Middle-Aged Man

    Sooner or later, every artist gets so desperate for material that he paints his own horrible self. Vincent van Gogh and Rembrandt painted countless self-portraits: Vincent did so because he had no money for models; and Rembrandt did so because he had lots of funny hats, and he wanted to show them off.

    I have lots of funny hats, too. This Panama hat—did you know they come from Ecuador?—is probably my favorite. The werewolf cane I imported from the Carpathian Mountains, around Transylvania.

    I buy my clothes from the homeless, but I never cut corners on accessories.

     
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  42. the-ick-vault said: Indeed … an eccentric cantankerous ol’ fart…we love ya.
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